


It Feels So Quiet, In Turbulent Times

by MangledMind (MindMangler), MindMangler



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Blink And You Miss It Dom/Sub, Blow Jobs, Brooklyn, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Beta Read, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Skinny!Steve, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Worried Bucky Barnes, bucky barnes is a sweetheart, the 40s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:28:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24385864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MindMangler/pseuds/MangledMind, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MindMangler/pseuds/MindMangler
Summary: Back in pre-War Brooklyn,  Bucky Barnes just wants to make sure Steve Rogers makes it through another day.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 12
Kudos: 68





	It Feels So Quiet, In Turbulent Times

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the lyrics of the Alisha's Attic song "Air We Breathe"
> 
> Story is set in an undetermined year, but probably around 1940? Ish?

"C'mon, Stevie."

The voice faded in and out, like a radio dial that was turned just too far. You could hear the song, you could make out the tune, but the words were buried, garbled, nonsense.

"In and out for me, Stevie."

Or maybe it was like when you had your ears under water, and you could hear, but it was all muffled, all syllables and sounds, but nothing that resembled actual language.

"I swear to God-damn, you little punk, don't you do it now. Don't you dare. You fuckin' breathe, Stevie!"

Steve Rogers' frail shoulders shuddered as he finally inhaled a deep, rattling breath. He coughed as he exhaled, and his throat threatened to close over, but he managed another breath, and then another, and then another. He opened his eyes and lifted his gaze to his friend's face.

"I'm fine, Buck." His voice was hoarse, and tears spilled over to run down his cheeks. "I can breathe just fine." He added shakily, attempting to straighten his back, to lean away from James 'Bucky' Barnes' big, warm hand. A spasm of coughing overtook his next brave words, and he folded in on himself, chest hitching as the air poured into his lungs, but refused to huff back out.

"Damn it to hell," Bucky cursed under his breath, but he moved in closer, his free hand coming up to Steve's chest, rubbing it gently as the other rubbed his back. "Breathe, Stevie. In and out, just slow and calm." His voice was low, raspy but soothing, almost melodic as it recited the familiar words. Steve closed his eyes again, and focused on nothing but that smoky, velvet voice. "You manage to stop all this before the cold moves in, we'll hit Coney Island again."

"You bet," Steve choked. "Even-" -gasp- "even ride the-" -gasp- "damn Cyclone again!" A huge gasp in. Steve's bright blue eyes bulged, but Bucky's hand was there, hitting him firmly on the back, forcing another string of body wracking coughs from his thin frame.

"You never know when to keep your mouth shut, do you?" Bucky's voice was gentle, but Steve could hear something else in it. Panic? Worry? "You just think about getting the air in and out, and let me worry about crackin' wise."

"Right." Steve exhaled a laugh, almost choked, and gasped in more air.

"Stevie..." Bucky shook his head, a wry smile on his lips. "Just once, take a damn order."

Steve nodded and barked out another series of coughs. He concentrated on the feel of Bucky's hands on his chest and back, so warm, so gentle, but so perfectly firm. He concentrated on that smooth rasp of Bucky's voice, but as he struggled further to breathe, he noticed that voice losing its smoothness and becoming a lot sharper.

"Hey, did I tell ya?" Bucky's voice was almost brittle in its brightness, now. "You know that redhead I was all dizzy with? She's got a cousin, brunette, little thing, legs for _days_ , Stevie I tell ya, looks like she belongs in the damn Rockettes. You get through to the other side of this, and she's yours, I swear, I'll make it happen, _anything_ just fuckin' breathe!"

"Get outta here..." Steve wheezed out on the last of his breath. He was in agony, he honestly thought this was it, he was off to join his Ma, meet his father finally, but damned if he was going to let his best friend suggest throwing him a dame out of pity.

"Oh yeah," Bucky laughed, but there was no humour in it at all. "You think I'm just gonna take a powder now and..." His hands stilled on Steve's torso. "Shit!"

"Buck...?" Steve collapsed back against the wall of the bedroom as Bucky's hands moved away. He shifted on the bed, feeling the thin mattress move as Bucky bolted from his position beside him. "...Buck?!" He gasped another huge rush of air in, and his lungs felt as if they would burst. White lights bloomed behind his closed eyelids, before fading out to grey and finally into black nothingness.

***********

It was pain, and that was awful.

But it was _pain_ , and that was good.

Because it meant he was still alive.

Steve's chest felt like he'd gone a half dozen rounds with Max Schmeling, but he could _breathe_ , and more than that, the air was going in and out smoothly. He lay on his back, eyes still closed, just enjoying the sensation of his chest rising and falling the way it should. Bucky was a lifesaver. Bucky was a damned miracle worker. Bucky was – strangely quiet.

"Bucky?" Steve's voice was raspy, the way he'd heard Bucky's get after a night of whiskey and cigarettes. He sat up, wincing at the sharp pain in his throat, and cast his eyes around the small bedroom the two of them shared.

Bucky sat on the floor under the window, his hands covering his face, as near silent sobs shuddered through his body. His hair, normally slicked back and neat even when working down at the docks, was wild, curls sticking out every which way. The sniffling and watery intakes of breath stunned Steve.

"Buck?"

"Jesus, Steve!" Bucky was standing and defensive before Steve even had time to blink. As his eyes took in Steve's form, pale but no more so than usual, and breathing normally, Bucky sank back to the floor. "Gave me a hell of a fright, pal." He huffed out a laugh, swiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. "You okay now?"

"Yeah, I feel a lot better." Steve regarded Bucky seriously. "What did you do?"

Bucky offered a lopsided grin before pulling out a yellow tin from his coat pocket and handing it over to Steve.

"Haywood's Improved Powder?" Steve read off the label.

"I, uh... I lifted it awhile ago." Bucky shrugged. "After your last real bad turn in winter. I forgot all about it." The grin wavered and Bucky drew in a shuddering breath. "Forgot all about it, didn't even know if it would work when I finally _did_ fuckin' remember it." He gazed at Steve, his big grey eyes bloodshot and scared. "I thought I lost you." His voice dropped to a whisper as more tears filled his eyes. "Thought you'd scampered off for good there, Stevie."

"Bucky," Steve stared at his friend, not knowing what to say as the tears spilled over again, running freely down Bucky's cheeks. "Hey, come on. Come back up here and talk to me." He patted the pathetically thin mattress next to him and waited. And waited. "Now, Buck." His voice was still hoarse, but there was command in it.

A moment later, Bucky climbed to his feet and dropped onto the bed next to the younger man. He seemed to be trying to curl himself into a ball, to be as small as possible. Bucky, who normally filled any space he was in, no matter how big or cramped, with his charm and wit, and all his light. Steve nudged him with an elbow.

"Talk."

"What about?" Bucky's voice was muffled, as he spoke into his lap, his head resting on his forearms.

"Are you okay?"

Bucky snorted. "Am I okay? You almost go toes up and you're askin' me if I'm okay?" He turned his head slightly and glared up at his friend. "No, I'm not okay. Now I gotta take you to Coney Island _and_ get you a date with the hottest dame in Brooklyn."

Steve barked out a laugh. "Jerk!"

"Punk." Bucky muttered grumpily, but Steve could see the ghost of a smile twitching at his lips.

"Is that all it is?" Steve pressed. "Coz Buck... I mean, I've never seen you..."

"Cry like a skirt?"

"Well, yeah."

Bucky finally lifted his head, sniffed loudly and ran his hands over his eyes and cheeks. "Jesus, I'm actually shakin'." He held his hand in front of him briefly, eyeing the slight tremor, before dropping it to his lap and facing Steve. "You know you mean a lot to me, right?"

"Sure, Buck." Steve looked surprised. "You mean a lot to me, too. End of the line, pal."

"Yeah." Bucky's voice was soft, but the gaze he levelled at Steve was intense. "End of the line. Sometimes that line looks like it's a lot closer than it is. Sometimes that line looks like it's rushing up like a damn train, and it's gonna take you out."

"Buck-"

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Stevie." Bucky's grey eyes were almost black, the pupils blown wide. "I don't think you know how much I need you."

"Don't be stupid," Steve wanted to look away, look anywhere else, but Bucky's eyes were almost hypnotic. "You don't need me, all I do is drag you down."

"Don't you ever say that." The older man's voice was still quiet, but there was so much fire in it.

"What? It's true! If it weren't for me, you'd probably have a wife and a handful of babies crawlin' around-"

Steve's words were cut off by the heated press of Bucky's lips against his own. He almost pulled back, he raised his hands to push Bucky away, but instead found them fisting into Bucky's hair, his short fingernails scratching at his scalp. Bucky moaned at the sensation, and his own hands grabbed at Steve's shirt, pulling the blond to him. The two kissed almost frantically, teeth and tongues clashing as they pressed together, before Steve pulled back with a loud gasp.

"Bucky-"

"What? What is it? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" Bucky launched himself away from his friend as though Steve had slapped him.

"It's fine!" Steve replied loudly. "I'm not mad, but I _did_ just have an asthma attack." He reached out a slender hand, and cradled Bucky's cheek. "Buck, look at me." His voice was soft, but commanding. Bucky's stormy eyes turned to meet his gaze. "Why?"

"You're my world, Stevie." Bucky replied, his voice wavering. "I know you don't think it's true, but it is." He nuzzled his cheek against Steve's hand. "Out there, it's crazy. Everythin' goin' on in the world... All the dames... All the fuckin' work just to bring home a dime." He raised a hand and clasped it around Steve's bony wrist. "But here, with you... it's so quiet. It's just us, I don't gotta be anything other than me." He closed his eyes and sighed. "Need you. I need you so much."

There was a long silence. Too long. Bucky dropped his hand from Steve's wrist, but before he could open his eyes or move away, he felt Steve's plump lips press against his own again. Tentative and gentle, Bucky melted into the kiss as Steve's long, delicate artist's fingers stroked his cheek.

"What do you want, Buck?" Steve mumbled against his lips.

"Wanna make you feel better, make you feel so good." The words almost tumbled from the brunette's mouth.

"Then do it." A breathless whisper.

"What?" Bucky pulled back slightly, a small frown on his brow.

"Do it." Steve repeated, more forcefully this time.

Before he could say anything else, Bucky was fumbling with the worn leather belt at Steve's waist, popping the fly of his trousers, and slipping his rough, calloused hand inside. Steve gasped at the touch, so unlike his own, and he quickly pushed his pants and underwear down so that Bucky could take him properly in hand.

"You're already hard," Bucky moaned, swiping his thumb over the tip, smearing the precum as he did. "You like that for me, Stevie? Huh? I get ya this way?" He pumped Steve's cock slowly, twisting his wrist as he reached the head, smiling lazily as Steve's head dropped back and the blond let out a moan. "You're so beautiful, so big, all this for me..." He trailed off and removed his hand. Steve let out a frustrated huff and raised his head to look back at his friend. He was met with Bucky's lust blown gaze and a wicked grin as the brunette lowered his head.

" _Jesus_..." His voice came out as no more than a hiss as Bucky wrapped his lips around his cock, swirling his tongue, hollowing his cheeks and sucking. Steve's hands flew to the messy brown hair now situated in his lap as his hips bucked up. Bucky grunted as Steve's cock hit the back of his throat, and he pressed at Steve's hip to push him back. The younger man panted out an apology, but Bucky just moaned and continued his ministrations, one hand holding Steve's narrow hips down, the other working what his mouth couldn't take. Steve gasped at the speed with which he could feel his climax approaching as Bucky enthusiastically mouthed at his cock, his hand moving from his shaft to massage the blond's heavy balls. Before long, Steve was a mess, his cock twitching, his hips fighting to push forward.

"Buck... Jesus, I'm... I'm gonna..."

Steve's hips snapped forward, and Bucky hummed and swallowed as his friend came down his throat. He continued slowly licking Steve's length until shaky hands pushed him away.

"Feel better?" Bucky's voice was rough. Steve opened his eyes to see his friend undoing his own pants and freeing his own sizeable erection. The blond nodded, unable to shift his gaze as Bucky took his own heavy cock in his hand and began to pump at an almost frantic pace. Steve moved forward, starting to lower his head, but Bucky pushed him back.

"No, Stevie." His voice was low, rasping and heavy with ragged breaths. "Kiss me."

He reached out, cradling Bucky's face in his hands, their lips meeting in a sloppy, wet kiss. Steve could taste himself on Bucky's tongue, and he felt a twist in his chest. It was a good twist though, not like when he had an attack of something coming on, but a warm tug on his heart.

"God _damn_ , Stevie..." Bucky's mouth broke from Steve's, words spilling incoherently as he came, white hot into his fist. "Christ!" He panted harshly for a few minutes then looked at his hand. Throwing a sheepish look to Steve, he wiped it on the rumpled sheet, before tucking himself back into his pants. "Wow." With a shaking hand, he attempted to neaten the sweaty mess of curls that had fallen forward into his eyes.

"Wow..." Steve repeated softly, pulling his own pants back up. "Um, so..."

"Time to make a choice, Stevie."

"A choice?" Steve's head spun to meet his friend's gaze.

"Yep." Bucky's voice was serious, but there was a twinkle back in his eyes and a lopsided grin playing on his lips. "After that, you only get Coney Island _or_ a date with the hottest filly in town. What's it gonna be?"

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos feed my fragile writer's soul! 💚
> 
> Come and play with me on [Tumblr](https://starlightcrystalline.tumblr.com/)


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